Bold or Bonkers!?

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This summer, I went to the beach, played at the park with my kids, ate way too many ice cream cones and walked away from a corporate job where I was pulling in six figures. Some call it brave. Others call it stupid. I call it self-preservation.

I was always the mom who others thought had it all together. My high heels and statement jewelry were always carefully coordinated with my outfits. To be fair, I do have a bit of a shoe obsession, but more about that later. My two daughters (ages 4 and 7) are also dressed to the nines with matching hair bows and sparkle shoes. And, a big smile is usually pasted on my carefully done up face.

What people never saw was my stockpile of waterproof mascara because there were often tears streaming down my face as I raced to pick up my older daughter from her after school care program, where she was quite frequently the last child picked up. They didn’t know I was up every single night having anxiety attacks because of all I had to do the next day. Or how my chest tightened with the pinging of the constant emails on my iPhone. And they definitely don’t see me packing for a business trip and my little girls pulling clothes out of my suitcase and crying, “Don’t go mommy. We’ll miss you too much.”

I wouldn’t mind trying to navigate the work/life integration further if I thought it was getting me somewhere. Sadly, I was trapped in a corporate environment where instead of women supporting women, they chose to tear each other down. Talk about feeling like you are caught on a hamster wheel. The more I talked to other women, I realized I wasn’t alone. The mean girl mentality was sucking the passion from talented women across the globe. This has to change!

Want to know what finally pushed me over the edge? One of my daughters was battling some serious medical issues earlier this year. As she was sitting on my lap sobbing while getting blood drawn, I had my cell phone glued to my other ear on a non-necessary conference call. That was my tipping point…when I realized I was prioritizing my job over my children and the guilt was stifling. And no matter how much I tried to “balance” the two, I didn’t have the support I needed.

With a heavy heart, I made the decision to walk away from a job that had once been my passion, had once defined me, and was frankly a huge part of my social circle. I hope you’ll join me as I begin a journey to reinvent myself, reprioritize my life and start to become the role model my daughters deserve.

Happiness is a choice. I choose to laugh instead of cry. I choose to smile instead of glare. I choose to throw kindness around like confetti, which is my new favorite quote. And I choose to do it all wearing a cute pair of shoes!

11 thoughts on “Bold or Bonkers!?

  1. Diana Duda

    When a job makes one so unhappy that it affects one’s home life and takes priority it is time to leave – you did the right thing for everyone. ((((Hugs)))

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  2. Lori Beckman

    Amen, sister! And I’ll only be a phone text away as you start your journey on re-inventing yourself. I’m so glad I get to be on your friends who’s known you since the beginning…well, the beginning of our 20s anyway! Love you, Jen!

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  3. Luisa Faron

    You will never regret being there for your girls. Yes, you take a hit in the pocketbook, but you cannot replace the time gone by. Kudos to you for being brave — yes, brave. I’ve always admired your posts as they are succinct and intelligent. I look forward to following you on your new journey. All the best to you.

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  4. Jill Katanic

    Jen!!!! You will never regret this decision. I know it will be hard to adjust to this new life….especially when others ask what you do. I promise in time it will be a pride moment. Being a stay at home mother has been my hardest job ever….but the most rewarding! Get involved with groups like MOPS and build your support system. Soon you will never want to go back! Let’s catchup soon!!

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  5. Heather

    Awe Jen, when I would see your posts I thought so highly of you having a successful job, two beautiful girls, etc and now I think even more highly of you because how awesome of you to realize and now be able to have this time with your girls. I, too have been struggling with re-inventing me and figuring out who I am again so I look forward to following your journey and perhaps sharing in it with you. 💗💜

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  6. Allie H

    Love it! So proud of you and while I hated the journey that brought you here, I’m so excited for the new path it will take! Anxious to follow you on it! 🙂

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  7. Tara

    Sending great respect to you from across the sea. Well done. You will definitely find a way to be all parts of yourself in balance. Much love from a distance.

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